I have recently finished The Myth of Normal : Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Maté.

“The Myth of Normal” is a thought-provoking book that challenges the conventional notion of what it means to be “normal.” Maté argues that our society has created a narrow definition of normalcy that is based on conformity and ignores the complex and diverse range of human experiences.

The book explores a range of topics, including mental health, addiction, trauma, and human behavior. Maté draws on his extensive experience as a physician and his personal experiences to provide insightful perspectives on these topics. He also examines the societal and cultural factors that contribute to the myth of normal and how they affect individuals.

One of the strengths of this book is its emphasis on the importance of understanding and addressing the underlying causes of mental health issues, addiction, and other challenges rather than simply treating symptoms. Maté highlights the role of trauma, social and economic inequality, and other systemic issues in shaping individuals’ experiences and challenges.

I particularly enjoyed his thoughts on trauma and its links to chronic disease, cancer, … I picked a few paragraphs that I liked and would love to share with you:

“If in the body a cell begins to multiply at the expense of the entire organism, destroying tissues nearby and spreading to other organs, robbing the host of energy, disabling its defenses, and eventually threatening its very life, we call that unchecked growth a cancer.”

“What if disease is not, in fact, a fixed entity but a dynamic process expressive of real lives in concrete situations? What new (or old) pathways to healing, unthinkable within the prevailing medical view, might follow from such a paradigmatic shift in perspective?

“No person is their disease, and no one did it to themselves – not in any conscious, deliberate, or culpable sense. Disease is an outcome of generations of suffering, of social conditions, of cultural conditioning, of childhood trauma, of physiological bearing the brunt of people’s stresses and emotional histories, all interacting with the physical and psychological environment. It is often a manifestation of ingrained personality traits, yes – but that personality is not who we are any more than are the illnesses to which it may predispose us.”

“I know firsthand that the patients who listen and follow instructions are considered “good” patients, while the “annoying” patients are those who ask a lot of questions, bring in their own research, or – worst of all – challenge their doctors’ orders. Yet these latter ones, those who find ways to take control of their own healing, are the ones likely to do better in the long term.”

“Trauma is not what happens to you but what happens inside you.”

“Trauma is perhaps the most avoided, ignored, belittled, denied, misunderstood, and untreated causes of human suffering.”

“Healing- a willingness to experience disease not as a “thing,” an external enemy, but as a process that encompasses all of one’s life – present, past, and future – and, ultimately, even as a teacher.”

“We need to celebrate and support people who are ill because there’re the canaries in the mine. They are the ones who are showing us that our society is out of balance, and we need to thank them for taking that on and doing it for the rest of us. All of us need to participate in their healing, because if not for them, where would be we?”