I do realise that everyone is different and what might bother me could be fine with you and vice versa. Hence, this is my list. The best strategy is to effectively communicate and ask what would the person like. There is never anything wrong with asking.

1. Ohhhh brain cancer, that’s a horrible thing to have. You don’t have great prospects, do you? Well yeah.. I do know the statistics and the odds, thanks for telling me.
2. I will pray for you! Cheers, however I’d prefer if someone found a cure. Feel like that would be much better. What do you think?
3. God, so are you going to die? Sorry to break it to you … but … we all are going to die one day. And most of us will be forgotten.
4. Well, I can also be hit by a lorry tomorrow! Yes, you could be. I hope that this will not happen to you. However, a brain tumour diagnosis adds a few special circumstances I think.
5. Man up and start fighting! Oh f**k off.
6. This celebrity had a completely different disease and they recovered! Brilliant, I really don’t care but great!
7. Have you tried this special tea? No, I was only diagnosed 9 years ago so have never heard about it. (SARCASM)
8. Oh dear, I do pity you! You don’t have to pity me, I don’t pity myself.
9. You are so brave! Why?
10. You are such an inspiration! Thanks, but how, can you explain, please.
11. You probably shouldn’t joke about cancer, it’s not funny. Well it depends on the joke. I heard great jokes about the Holocaust, AIDS, death… and laughter is a perfect coping mechanism.
12. And the best one so far. No words, just staring, thinking you are probably a moron. Not rude at all!

And the list would go on. If you like, next I could write about things you ought to say to a person with this diagnosis. Do let me know!