This article was made with the irreplaceable help from good friend and former colleague, Emily. Her older brother, Oli, was diagnosed with a GBM and passed away 4 years later on 6th January, 2019.

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How was Oli diagnosed?

He had a seizure out of the blue. Never had one before and so was taken to hospital and that’s how they found it.

In your opinion, how did he deal with the situation?

He would run a lot. That definitely helped him. But I think he just worried about everyone else (family, friends etc.) and wanted to make sure we were all OK. He was always really positive and tried to keep as busy as possible.

After he passed away, how did you cope?

To be honest, I have no idea. Some days were, and still are, such a blur. 
I guess the way I coped was taking each day as it came, sometimes even each hour. Grief is so overwhelming, and so it will hit you at the most unexpected times.

Grief is such a turbulent journey, (although I hate calling it a journey). There are so many emotions. Anger, guilt, denial, numbness, and obviously overwhelming sadness. And these feelings are often so powerful that it’s hard to know how to deal with them.

In terms of getting by day to day, I’m lucky to have really supportive friends and family. I also had bereavement counselling after Oli died, and I found that really helped.

Blogging was another coping mechanism for me too. I set my blog up when Oli was dying, as I wanted a distraction. And I found myself blogging to keep myself busy and to stop myself feeling those emotions I didn’t want to face. But you have to face them at some point, and that’s when couselling helped. 

I also use dark humour to cope. I know it’s not for everyone, but if I don’t make jokes about it, I’d just sit and cry. And luckily my friends are used to my dark humour now, and probably even expect it!

It must have been extremely difficult for the entire family. What helped you the most?

I think allowing myself time to feel the grief, and not holding it all in helped the most. That alongside, knowing my friends were there when I needed them, but they never pressured me to meet up or chat until I was ready. It really helped knowing they were there, but without the pressure of needing to meet up with them or talk about it.

Having time off work and time to myself helped so much too.

What is the most beautiful memory you have?

Oli surprising me at my graduation. He said he couldn’t make it because he was working, but when I arrived before the ceremony he was there as he’d surprised me. Such a beautiful memory and I treasure it forever. I’m so glad mum got photos of it too.