Having a brain tumour is tough for everyone. It’s often classified as an “invisible illness“, a medical condition that is not outwardly visible to others, even healthcare professionals.

Nevertheless, it does have a lifetime consequences on one’s quality of life. (Even if you are lucky enough to have the lesion removed by surgery and no further growth.) Issues can vary depending on the location, size, type etc. Furthermore, the problems we experience can depend on so many different factors: additional stressors, environment, the way we perceive are situation and so on.

I have been wondering whether there is any difference in experience alongside the biological lines. More specifically between men vs women. I asked both sexes and received a number of answers. Here are a few that stood out:

Q: Do you have any specific examples of your struggles that are experienced mainly by your sex?

A:

Julie: Instant menopause after surgery (age 50 at the time) followed by years of excessive sweating/hot flushes.

Katie: When I first experienced symptoms, I was constantly told by my GP that it was all hormone related. I went every few weeks to try and get answers but was given a psychiatric referral even though I was going in with headaches and leg weakness. I often wonder; if I was male then would it have taken almost eight years to get a diagnosis?!

Andrew: It made me feel like less of a man, because I suddenly became isolated and reliant on my Mum. At that age, before the diagnosis, I felt like I was in my prime and had my whole life ahead of me. I suddenly felt less attractive to the opposite sex and my self esteem took a big hit. I went on dates after my diagnosis, but felt like a patient, and as a man I felt like I should have been providing more. I know it’s quite a traditional idea, and my ideas on that have changed somewhat as I’ve aged, but it was a huge thing at the time.

Will: The main issue that comes to mind is dating. I think that single men (especially if they are young) with an active cancer diagnosis can have a particularly difficult time dating, especially if it affects their ability to work and be independent.

I wrote about the dating issue earlier. You can read it here.

I’d love to know what do you think.